At some point, someone asks: “Can I use that too?”
A photo gallery, a Nextcloud, maybe a Minecraft server.
You want to say yes, but opening your services to the world feels like asking for trouble.
You don’t need to lock it all down for yourself alone.
You do need to share without exposing everything else.
Define Who and What
Scope is everything:
- Which service is being shared?
- Who actually needs access?
- Do they need accounts, or just public links?
Clarity up front avoids future creep.
Keep the Perimeter Tight
Don’t just port-forward and hope:
- Put shared services behind a reverse proxy
- Use TLS everywhere, even for “just friends”
- Limit exposure to specific domains or subpaths
The less surface you expose, the better.
Authentication That Works for Humans
Friends and family won’t tolerate complex flows:
- Use accounts with minimal privileges, not your own admin login
- Consider OAuth with providers they already use, but separate from your core identity
- Rotate or revoke access easily when people drift away
If it’s too fiddly, they’ll share credentials — worse than no security at all.
Segregate the Environment
Never run shared services on the same box as your crown jewels:
- Use containers, VMs, or a separate host
- Firewall off internal-only services
- Assume compromise is possible and design boundaries
Compartmentalisation is sovereignty.
Monitor Quietly
Don’t stalk, but do watch:
- Log logins and failed attempts
- Set up alerts for unusual activity
- Keep an eye on bandwidth spikes
If something goes wrong, you want a breadcrumb trail.
Exit Strategy
Every share should be reversible:
- Have a plan to revoke access without downtime for yourself
- Delete accounts cleanly, not just disable them
- Keep backups separate so “helpful users” can’t damage your data
Shared access should never mean shared liability.
Boring, Safe Sharing
The point of self-hosting isn’t to play sysadmin martyr.
It’s to control your tools.
Sharing them can work — if you keep boundaries clear, privileges minimal, and exits planned.
A little paranoia keeps generosity sustainable.